Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, July 03, 2009

What Is The Perfect Outfit To Wear When An Inmate Invites You Out To Dinner?

Terminating a relationship with a client is a bit like breaking up with someone. My official unofficial mentor had suggested I take the easy way out and do it over the phone. I thought about it but my conscience wouldn’t allow it so I got my ‘it’s me not you’ speech together as I headed out to the prison.

Technically he wasn’t really my client. I had taken over the case as a favor and had only seen him twice when I was informed that I was off the case because there was nothing he needed that we could offer him. As soon as he came in he gave me some good news it seems an error was allowing him to be released from prison earlier than anyone had anticipated as early as the next day. Great, I thought to myself I won’t have to terminate you’re on your way out. It seems that the inmate had other ideas about termination.

“How about you let me take you out to dinner when I get out?” he asked.

That was a surprise. “I don’t go out with clients.” I quickly replied.

“Aw come on I’m not your client anymore.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“So? He doesn’t have to know.”

His eyes lingered over my face and then dipped to my chest. It wasn’t the first time I’d caught him doing that. I wrapped my sweater tighter around myself and quickly changed the subject. We discussed his future plans some of which were sure to get him back in jail. I warned him against doing what he had planned. After several minutes he tried hitting on me again.

“What would it take for you to give a guy like me a chance?” he asked.

“Like I said I have a boyfriend.”

“You never wear your hair down.”

“No it’s too hot for that.” I replied.

“Wear your hair down for me.”

I shook my head, this is not happening. This is so not happening.

“Mia, wear your hair down for me.” He repeated.

“Oh no no my man trust me you don’t want that. It’s hot and humid and these curls have no business being let down. Trust me on this. It could get scary.”

“Come on Mia let me take you out. We’ll have fun. We can do Blue Fairy together. “

Wonderful an offer of dinner and entertainment. Be still my foolish heart. Blue Fairy for those not in the know is a drug made with formaldehyde.

“Are you seriously offering me drugs?”

“Are you wearing a wire?” he asked and attempted to peer down my t-shirt. I tugged on the black cord around my neck and produced my necklace. I attempted a little levity as I got up and opened the door to where the CO was standing outside just in case I needed help.

if he get’s stupid go for the throat then the nuts .

“No wire here just this necklace.” I said as I walked back towards him.

“That’s nice your boyfriend give it you?”

“No a friend in New Zealand sent it to me.”

“We could really have fun together.”

“ I don’t do drugs.”

“You really should let your hair down for me. I’d love to see you with your hair down.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why won’t you go out with me?”

let me list the reasons… not desperate enough…wrong…unethical.

“I’m not a bad looking guy.”

this is so not happening to me.

“I don’t date younger men.”

“How old are you ?”


“Really you look way younger. My girlfriend is 27.”

this would be the girlfriend you physically abused? Betcha she’s re-thinking the decision to date you.

“We broke up yesterday.” He added just in case I thought he was a cheater in addition to a violent drug addicted felon charged with statutory rape.

smart woman.

He continued to attempt to sweet talk me for several more minutes. As he talked I made a note to contact his lawyer. I felt he needed to be seen by his psychiatrist. Judging from the way he was acting and what he was saying I got the impression that the 24 year old bipolar man was going through a maniac stage.

“Let your hair down.”

I stood up and gathered my things to leave. I explained that I had to see another client and wished him well. As I made my way back to the office I called my official unofficial supervisor and told her what had happened. Naturally she felt it her duty to tease me about it.

“So what are you going to wear for your date?” she inquired.

“I was thinking of getting an orange dress to match his jumpsuit.”

“Orange is not your color my dear, stay away from the orange.”

“So what is the perfect outfit to wear when an inmate invites you out to dinner?”


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