Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Terrorists Are Like Clowns and Santa Claus



Several years ago in a wtf were they thinking moment a couple of guys decided to pose for some pictures. The men were at a wrap party for a hip hop album they’d just produced when someone came up with this brilliant idea for some pictures! They borrowed some guns from the security staff, wrapped some shirts around their head and pretended to be terrorists. Yeah cause Lord knows terrorists are like clowns and Santa Claus, just the sight of them makes you break out in a smile.


A few days later one of the guys dropped off the roll of film to be developed, a couple of hours later the FBI were knocking on the guy’s door. Obviously the clerk who had developed the film at the local Wal-mart did not share the sound engineer’s sense of humor. He was taken into custody and questioned for a couple of days and then deported back to France. His photo buddy the record producer had left Cali shortly after the pictures were taken and could not be found. A warrant was issued for his arrest.

June 15, 2009, the National Puerto Rican Day Parade, my uncle Mike and his childhood buddy/best friend the record producer were outside of central park watching the parade. Mike and several of their friends had warned the record producer about the can of beer he was holding just before the police officer had approached them. In NY the consumption of Alcohol on city streets is illegal. Usually you’ll get a warning but if the cop is in a cranky mood, over zealous, or in need of filling their ticket quota you’ll be issued a summons and have to pay a fine.


The record producer didn’t want to hear the lecture the cop was giving him,"Just give me the fucking ticket and bounce.” He’d said to the officer. Until that moment the cop had been content just to lecture and wasn’t intending to issue a ticket at all but now that the producer had dissed him he had to give the guy an equally hard time. He ran the producer's name through the system for warrants. Until the cops slapped the cuffs on him the producer hadn’t known he had a warrant for his arrest much less a federal warrant. I bet he would’ve been a hell of a lot nicer to that cop if he had. “I’ve lived in the same fucking building all my life it wasn’t like I was hiding!” he argued as the cops put him in the back of their squad car. Last we heard Homeland security was questioning the producer. Call me messed up but that I found that funny.

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