Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Something out of a nightmare



This is the 2005 winner of the world's ugliest dog contest, hands down i'm sure there is nothing as hideous living out there in the world. His name is "Sam" and he's from Cali. My mom showed me this photo several days ago and i'm not ashamed to say I had a nightmare with this critter! I figured i'd pass it on to you guys, after all why should I suffer alone? Maybe by sharing this photo of Sam I will purge myself of his image, which seems to have embedded itself into my brain choosing to make itself known as I lay in a deep sleep.

The other night as I dreamt I was walking down the street with my adorable doggie Cleo and all of a sudden we bumped into Sam. I recoiled in horror and my blood ran cold. The damn dog kept following me around saying, "yo quiero taco bell, drop the chalupa!".... I woke up from my hunger induced nightmare trenched in sweat, I got up had a drink of water and went back to bed. Then the impossible happened, Sam crept into my dreams again. This time he was chasing yelling at me, "scratch behind my ear and by scratch behind my ear I mean rub my tummy and by rub my tummy I mean pick me up and cuddle me and by pick me up and cuddle me I mean let me lick your face..." I ran away from Sam leaving him mid-sentence. I walked all over NYC, I even ran down into the subway but Sam was still following me, he had his own metro card! I just couldn't shake him. My heart was racing, pulse pounding and I remember saying to myself, "this is just a dream" to which Sam replied, "yes it is a dream, or is it?" Finally Sam cornered me in front of my house and I yelled at him," what the hell do you want from me satan's lap dog?!!" to which he replied," scratch behind my ear and by scratch behind my ear I mean rub my tummy and by rub my tummy I mean pick me up and cuddle me and by pick me up and cuddle me I mean let me lick your face ..." I awoke with a jump..my mom came in to wake me up,it was time to get up for school. I was never so happy to be awakened in my life!

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