Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, December 30, 2005

My favorite WTF moments of 2005...


There were a few things happening in 2005 that had nothing to do with politics or Pat Roberts that caused me to go WTF. Here are they are in no particular order….

1) R. Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet parts 1-1000: This hip hop soap opera features gay sex triangles, cheating spouses, gun shots in short everything but circus midgets, jugglers and clowns.

2) Madonna: Her “ Hung Up” video just grossed me out. Put on some clothes woman! I think I saw some lip and I don’t mean upper either… ewwww

3) Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan : Yes you can be too rich and too thin and these chicks proved it. Someone please feed them!

4) Burger King Commercial: It's morning. Birds are chirping. A man wakes up in his bed … and discovers he's not alone! Next to him on the mattress there is some sort of royal personage: a king, clad in burgundy robes and a crown. But the king's head appears to be made of plastic and is perhaps three times too large for his body. He hands the stunned man a breakfast sandwich. They laugh…I scream! here was even one in where The King seemed to be stalking his victim. Every time the guy would look out his window “The King” was standing outside sandwich in hand. This commercial was something out of a childhood nightmare I once had. Well if the ad campaign doesn’t work The King has a brilliant future in horror flicks.

While on the subject of commercials re-enacting my childhood nightmares all I’ve got to say is …

5) The Halls Mentholated Cough Drops Wolf Boy commercial: The 3 little pigs, human actors wearing pig make up complete with warts and snouts; mock the wolf standing in front of their house in his running suit. The wolf boy also a human wearing makeup looks like something out of a low budget horror flick .

6) Tom Cruise on Oprah and The Today Show: Amazing! I’m still laughing.

7) Mike Myers and Kanye West: While on a telethon to aide Katrina victims Kanye said” George Bush doesn’t care about black people” Mike Myers froze he was speechless…the look on his face was priceless….I laughed until I cried.


8) Saddam Hussein in his underoos: I could have lived without seeing that one

9)Celine Dion: She defended New Orleans looters on the Larry King show by saying that they were so poor they probably had never seen a T.V. and that those who stole T.V.’s and other items would probably return them later.

10) My Uncle Hassan in his tighty whities: While in Egypt I saw my uncle in his drawers.. I may need therapy to recover; I know my retnas still haven’t.

11) Consuming a Brain sandwich:
I don’t know whose brain it was, I don’t wanna know. All I know was that my Uncle Hassan slipped it to me while in Egypt.. He was lucky that I was able to hold it in otherwise he’d still be cleaning puked brains out of his car.

12) Assorted Actresses popping out of their dresses and getting air time for their nips: Tara Reid, Kiera Knightley, Rachel Adams… next time wear a bra ladies!

13) Man jerking off on subway: I’m riding subway home late at night. I notice man is choking his chicken… I am trapped no where to go, I am in the last car. As soon as the train stopped I ran out he yelled, “Thank You!” and I yelled back, “You’re Welcome!” yup it was definitely a wtf moment…

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